Questions For You

How Nice Are You?

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They say that it takes just as much energy to be nice as it does to be nasty.

What do you think? Is it true?

Personally, I disagree. In my experience, it takes a lot more energy to be nasty, rude, or abrasive than it takes to just be…..nice. I’ve never seen a total jerk who was bursting with joy, gliding through his/her day, breathing in the sun and the sky. Have you?

Probably not.

Usually, when I see a jerk-like figure, he/she is angry, depleted, frustrated and clenched. Jerky people tend to focus on the ground right in front of them - looking down instead of up. To me, they look totally exhausted. In my humble opinion, lack of basic nice-ness will ultimately cost you years of joy, lightness, humor, and peace.

But how nice are we talking about here? Holding the door, saying Please and Thank-You, letting old people get on the bus first - that kind of ‘nice’?? To my way of thinking, those behaviors all fall under the category of Social ‘Shoulds’. They are behaviors that our society overtly recognizes as ‘nice things to do’. True - we’ve probably all seen people who still struggle with these basic displays of civility, but hopefully we can agree that, in theory, it’s nice to thank the bus driver, or hold the door for the person behind you.

I’m talking about going one or two steps beyond these basic social niceties and elevating your intention. I’m talking about kicking it up a notch. We don’t always think to go beyond the basics of our social ‘shoulds’ but I’m tellin’ ya - wonderful things can come your way if you make one small shift in your focus.

What if you set an intention at the beginning of each day that went something like this:

“I intend to be a part of everyone’s Good Day today”.

Think about it.

Have you ever been having a perfectly enjoyable day, and then you crossed paths with someone…..kinda jerky? Someone who brings a little thundercloud into your otherwise lovely day - either with their attitude, lack of consideration, their temper, or their sullen disposition? How did you feel after that interaction?

By the same token, have you ever been having a perfectly lousy day, and then you crossed paths with someone who was so delightful to deal with that it actually helped turn your day around? Someone who made eye contact, smiled, gave you a compliment out of nowhere, or otherwise paid attention to who you are?

Which person would you rather be?

When the people you cross paths with today reflect back on their day’s journey, would you rather be remembered as ‘that jackhole on line at the bank’¬† - or ‘that really nice stranger at the grocery store’?

“I intend to be a part of everyone’s Good Day today”.

The wonderful thing about setting this kind of intention is that it tends to come back to you pretty quickly. You’ll find that the more you focus your intention on boosting someone else’s day, the more lovely, smiley days you will begin to have yourself. Give it a shot and see how it goes for you.

How can you add to everyone else’s Good Day today?¬†