Who is in your head?
Today I’m talking about the voices in your head - although, not in a Multiple Personality Disorder way. I’m talking about that team of folks who take up residence in your brain and tell you things like, “You’re not going to be good enough at that,” or “You don’t deserve to be that happy,” or “Who do you think you are?”.
We all hear voices like that from time to time, from an imaginary team of detractors - and my question is: who ARE those people and why do we keep them around?
How did they get in there? Who keeps them on the payroll?
Sometimes, these voices can be clearly identified as belonging to people from our past or our childhood. The voices are so convincing - and have been there for so long - that we assume that they must know what they’re talking about! We have internalized their messages and now we mistake those messages for ‘the truth’.
The real ‘truth’, however, is that those voices are not YOU. They are external messages that we are hearing from the inside. Does that make sense? The voices, the messages……aren’t really YOU. Brainfreeze, right?
One of the COOLEST things about being a grown-up, in my opinion, is the part where you get to do whatever you want. You can set your own bedtime, go where you want to go, and make your own choices. In other words, no one is the boss of you. So, if that much is true - if you are the King of you - don’t you have the authority to at least challenge these un-loving voices in your very own head?? As a grown adult, don’t you have permission to decide which voices to keep, and which voices to chuck out the window forever?
If you are at all hesitant about whether or not you have permission to do this, I will make it very easy for you: You officially have permission to silence the unhelpful thoughts in your head, and nothing bad is going to happen to you. Ta da!
Imagine your life is like a business, and your brain is like the boss. The boss is the mastermind of the business, making all the choices about how to operate. YOU are the boss, trying to make life work as productively as possible and to achieve the best results. Are ya with me?
Well, over in the back corner of the break-room, huddled lazily on folding chairs and making snarky comments are a bunch of really negative, destructive, un-helpful ‘voices’ who were hired before you ever became the boss. You never interviewed them, you never chose them - you just inherited them. They don’t do anything productive. They just sit and snark and keep your ‘business’ from moving forward. They’re gumming up the works.
There happen to be some other voices at the ‘company’ - voices who have ideas, who have something to offer, who want to excel - but they haven’t been able to shine- or even be heard - because, up until now, the snarky yahoos who hang out in the break room have been running the show.
But now you’re the boss. You’re in charge. Don’t you have the power to ‘fire’ those negative voices and clean house? Don’t you have the authority to retain and even promote the more useful voices?
Think about who’s killing time in your ‘break room’? Which voices are snarking away in there, trying to get out of doing any work? What stops you from firing them? Who would you LIKE to have on your team??
What kinds of messages would you LIKE to hear playing in your head all day long?