Remember when you were going to get into the best shape of your life and do a triathalon? How about the time you were going to take guitar lessons? Or a cooking class? What about the time you were going to start exploring other career paths and finally bust out and do something you love?
How’s all that coming along?
I am just as guilty as anybody of occasionally setting grand goals and then letting them sort of fade away into the distance. It’s such a fascinating phenomenon to me. Why do we do that? I mean, when I declared that I was going to throw myself into ballroom dancing classes and really get SERIOUS about it, I sincerely meant it. By the end of two weeks, though, I was already disenchanted and on to the next thing.
After some personal reflection – and hearing the same issue come up for some of my life coaching clients – I have arrived at a few reasons for why we tend to bail on our own goals, and why it’s not always such a bad thing.
1. It was the right idea, but the wrong goal.
Maybe what you really wanted was to feel physically fit and capable – but the realities of training for a triathalon did not appeal to you (which I completely understand…). Maybe you were hoping to experience your creativity, but the discipline and practicalities of learning the guitar weren’t going to be the right fit for you.
Sometimes you can be genuinely in tune with what you want…..but it kinda comes out wrong when you try to set the goal. It’s not uncommon at all to have an IDEA of what it would be like to achieve something (learn the guitar, become a ballroom dancer) but to be sorta kicked in the butt by the reality of what it actually entails.
Keep asking yourself what you really, really want – deep down, at your core – and set goals that are truly aligned with your deepest wishes.
2. It was the right goal at the wrong time.
Everything happens when it’s supposed to. I know that’s lousy news when you are really hoping for some change right NOW – but I do think it’s the truth. Maybe now isn’t the time for you to quit your job and become a full-time musician – but that does NOT mean that you should abandon this goal, if it’s what you truly want. Maybe now is not the time to have children, but if you really want to have kids one day, you owe it to yourself to keep making life choices that will support you in reaching that goal. As long as you keep moving forward, your time will come.
3. It was the right goal for the wrong reason.
Wanting to be fit and trim and healthy is a fantastic goal and – believe me – it is SO much easier to achieve if your motivations are pure. Any time I have ever tried to lose weight for an event, a job, a BOY, or an outfit, I have hated the journey and grown resentful. Also – my results didn’t stick. What are the deep, down, no-foolin’, specific REASONS for wanting to achieve your goal? If you can tune into a motivation that really resonates for YOU, that means something deeply personal to YOU, you have a much better chance of following through and actually achieving what you want – long-term.
So what do you think? Does any of this resonate? The last time you ‘bailed’ on a goal…..what do you think was really going on? Please leave your comments. I looove hearing from you! And please be sure to Tweet and share this, if that’s your thang.
Thanks!
Nicole
The Healthy Habits Coaching Club...
Lose the weight, keep it off, and make healthy eating habits stick once and for all! Join any time!
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My problem is that I have an unrealistic amount of goals with no said deadline. Examples: Become fluent in Spanish, French, Italian and German. Learn guitar and piano. Take up ballet. Create masterful pieces of art. Learn more about art history. Travel the world: everywhere in Europe, the U.S. and some of South America and Asia to start. Have babies. Oh, but not until after I have a solid career and decent income. Oh… and maybe not until after I do all of that other stuff either. And then there’s the goal I work towards everyday: Achieve the highest quality of health that I can. See, I can handle that, right?
Then I let these goals lump together. Lump in my throat. Lump into the pea under my mattress… and I scold myself for not getting more accomplished.
I’m trying to take it one day at a time. I mean, I can do some of that stuff after I retire right?
I think you kinda nailed it, Monica – you said you have a lot of goals with no deadline. As I’ve heard it said (maybe by Dr. Phil?) “The difference between a dream and goal is a timeline”. I wonder which of your goals feels like it’s screaming at you with a neon sign saying, “ME, FIRST!”?
“CAREER!”
Dreams? Dreams! Duh. Thank you. I have a lot of “dreams”. I can live with that. They’re so much less threatening now…
Hooray! Now haul out your calendar and start putting some dates on it for all your wonderful career goals.
Are you signed up for ‘Let’s Chat’? Would love to stay in touch!
I am now!
I also liked your fb page.
Can’t wait to read your 6 tips and I’m already off caffeine and sugar (yay!)!
Oh, yay! Thank-you! Welcome aboard. I will look forward to having your voice in our little community.
Thanks, Nicole!
Set a new short-term goal for myself today! Thank you for the inspiration!
Yippee! Good for you, Monica!